It's Not You, It's The Clothes

You feel like everything you try on is terrible. And you think you have good reason to believe so. When you do decide to muster up the energy to go to the mall, whether it be for a special event or for fun, you find yourself at a store you’ve had “good luck with” in the past. You grab a few items because you like the color or the mannequin in the window looks cute and head to the dressing room. You try item number one and it’s a flop. Item number two is decent but something is still not quite right, and item number three accentuated your least favorite area on your body. This cycle happens store after store, and you leave the mall defeated with nothing but a pretzel to show for it.

These failed try-on attempts happen every time you go shopping, and you come to believe that the reason the clothes don’t work is because there’s something wrong with you. As personal stylists, we can tell you that your belief is not true. I know it seems impossible, but according to the countless women and men we’ve styled ranging from XXS to 3X, they can tell you it wasn’t them that was the problem, it was the clothes. They were picking things that didn’t like them back, and so were you.

There are a few areas that contribute to you not loving what you’re wearing. You may not be picking silhouettes, colors, and styles that like us back and align with who we want to be and what we’re trying to say.

Step 1: Understanding Your Body Shape

Understanding your body shape is the most important thing when it comes to looking amazing in your clothes. There are five body types — rectangle, apple, pear, inverted triangle, and hourglass — and the goal is to create a balanced, symmetrical silhouette with your clothes. The wrong dress, top, or pants can have all of your proportions thrown off. For instance, being an inverted triangle means you are top-heavy and your shoulders or bust are the widest part of your frame. If you wear skinny black pants with a blousy bright-colored shirt on top, you are going to look even broader than you are because the pants are slimming and the shirt adds volume. If you’re an apple body type and wearing clothes that balloon over your midsection to hide the widest part of your frame, you will look bigger than you are. You’d instead want to find items that help define and create the illusion of a waist to bring you back into balance.

It’s also crucial to not only pick clothes that suit your body type but also fit. Do not wear things that are too big to hide and do not wear clothes that are too small because you don't like the size on the tag. No one knows or cares what size you’re wearing when the outfit is giving. Your clothes should support you and all you have to give. Anything less is unacceptable.

Step 2: Determining your best colors

Have you ever gotten dressed one day and felt like you had to wear makeup because you looked extra tired or aged? If yes, it might not be you, it might be the clothes. It might also be your hair color and style, but that’s a conversation for another day. What you need to know is that colors play a huge role in how vibrant and awake we look. Our colors are based on our skin’s natural undertones. The first step is to determine whether you’re warm or cool and then those two undertones break down into the four seasons. Winter and summer are cool while spring and autumn are warm. Once you figure out the colors that like you back and not just the ones you like, you’ll notice positive changes in the way your skin appears when wearing those colors. Redness and under-eye circles will be minimized and you’ll look more vibrant and less sickly.

The four seasons can also be used to determine what hair colors and makeup shades to lean into. If you don’t know what your colors are and can’t figure it out, seek out an image consultant who can guide you in the right direction.

Step 3: Personal Style & Lifestyle

Once you understand your body type and best colors, most of the issues you may have getting dressed will dissipate. However, maybe you get those down and still feel lost when you look at your closet. This could be due to the style aesthetic of the clothes you are picking. The way to fix this is to ask yourself, “What am I trying to say?” or “What is my message?” For instance, maybe you just received a promotion and are now looked up to by other employers. But you still dress how you did when you were working on the same level as them. The illusion of power is only seen in your new title, but not in your look. It’s hard to feel like the boss when you don’t look like the boss.

Whatever your current lifestyle is, it has to reflect in the clothes you’re wearing for it to feel real. Maybe you’re a new mom with a closet full of only nightlife outfits. The current version of yourself is not being reflected in your current closet because your day-to-day life has drastically changed. A feeling of disconnect is bound to happen.

Conclusion

Remember, you are not the problem. The problem is that your picker is off. Because you lack direction, you feel like nothing in the mall is for you. But there’s so much out there that can work for your body type, complexion, personal style, and lifestyle. Small adjustments to neckline choices, fabrics, colors, and overall vibe can make a world of a difference when it comes to achieving better style. All you need is some guidance and maybe a little handholding from a professional to get you to where you want to be.